My family: my family love Steve. They think he’s great. He looks after me and comes to see me and makes me happier than i have been in a long time. He loves me for me.
His family: His dad dislikes me, he told him to end it with me when we first got together and then told me i wasn’t welcome in his home. Steve thinks i need to get over it. he thinks i’m over reacting. His mum is lovely to me and his sister is friendly. I don’t have any issues with them other than worrying that they may change their mind like his dad.
To be fair to him his dad is trying more now. but i don’t feel like his heart is in it. I can’t get over what has happened and because of it i feel like i’m not being myself around him. This causes an issue as i don’t even think his fakeness is allowing him to get to know the real me. The rest of his family don’t get to know the real me either since i’m too scared to be normal around his dad.
To sum it up.. His ex had a key – i got told i’m not welcome inside.
My friends: My friends are weary when it comes to anyone male. They know how badly i was hurt in the past and they know what it feels like to be hurt. they see everything Steve does through protective overanalysing glasses.
His friends: We spent the other day with his friends.. When he was alone with his friends fiancee he said she asked him about when we are buying a house together. When i was alone with her i asked about her job and said how i feel i need to have a career and figure my life out, her and her friends told me i’m young and i will, there is time and not to worry or stress myself because of the age gap. They asked me if i experience everything i want, asked if Steve ever stops me doing anything. I answered that he never does.
although when i decide to do something he doesn’t stop me but he questions it. when i say i’m going on holiday with my friend he will ask me why. but he wont stop me.
My mental state: Steve supports me with how i feel and is there, annoyingly sometimes quite late. I will be finished having an anxiety attack or done sobbing and he will then respond the words of encouragement i would have done anything to hear an hour earlier.
I don’t want it to end. i don’t want to be without him. but in the end i just need him. Do i let his dad bother me too much, or how his friends worry i have more to do before settling down.
I feels right with him… when i’m not consumed with worry..